Monday, 6 August 2012

The best marriage advice I've received...

Aside from Stormies recent blog, "just do it" the best advice I've recieved came from a marriage course required by my church before we got married. We followed along The Marriage Book: How to Build A Lasting Relationship Written by Nicky and Sila Lee.

Chapter 5-  the 5 expressions of love really stood out to me, and I frequently go back to that chapter.

The idea is, essentially there are 5 ways to express our love

Loving words
Kind actions
Quality time
Thoughtful presents
Physical affection

The exersize included each of us ranking the about expressions of importance for both ourselves and what we think our partners would rank

So, for myself I ranked it as follows


The big surprise was despite how well I thought I new the man, and how well he knows me... Our ranking did not line up perfectly.

I feel the most love when he tells me that I'm beautiful, or how much we can't believe I'm his wife, but also through his actions. I feel loved when he steps up as an hoh, guides and protects me. I feel loved when he worries about me, and takes action to protect our marriage and my safety.

He feels love when I scratch his head when we are lying on the couch, when I pack him yummy lunches for work and.... Let's just say touch was a big one.

I think this is an important exersize for all couples.

Because it the little things in life right?


  1. Absolutely. My cousin was the pastor at our wedding and he gave the best sermon about love being a verb, not just a noun-- basically expounding on what you mention - the importance showing our love in all the many ways we can....

  2. It's nice to know which one ranks as top but except for presents they are all major importance.

  3. There is another author that has a similar concept. His name is Gary Chapman. He has written the Love Language books. It is all about meeting the needs of your spouse and their love language and then also your love language. And, I agree. The little things DO matter.