Monday, 15 October 2012

Paulie the Paddlle

Meet June the Spoon!



We started our DD journey using June on a pretty regular basis. We got to know each other fairly well. However, it started to become a problem when I no longer had any wooden spoons left in the Kitchen! After June the Spoon the 4th cracked in half, the hubby decided it was time to graduate to something more durable. (May you rest in piece June! I can truly say that I miss you, you were much nicer that what came next!)



Meet Mr. Brush (I wasn't very creative when I named this one)


So after we laid June down to rest, I got better acquainted with Mr. Brush. Mr. Brush did wonders for my hair, but was not so great for my behind! Over the past few months we developed somewhat of a love hate relationship, but he was doing his job. Mr. Brush met his fate a few weeks ago when he cracked down the middle. I duct taped him back together and I am still using him as a brush, but the hubby felt he was no longer appropriate for spanking.
It was time again for another graduation.




Meet Paulie the Paddle
SR Solid MAPLE Paddle ~ 3 1/2" x 16" x 1/2"  $16.95

Paulie arrived at our house from www.cane-iac.com nearly 3 weeks ago. I find Paulie very frightening! Lets just say I have been on my BEST behaviour and Paulie and I have not had the chance to get to know each other formally yet. The hubby is starting to get anxious, and keeps asking to give it a test drive! I am hoping to avoid becoming better acquainted with Paulie, but I know it's just a matter of time!

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

A Little Experiment

6 months ago I discussed my frustrations with another DDer regarding my husbands unwillingness to give DD a chance... later that week, after months of discussing it, he agreed to give it a try.

About 3 months ago I blogged about our rules in our DD marriage, or rather, the lack there of. The very next day my list of rules tripled.

Last night I blogged about consistency and leniency and grey areas such as disrespect. Today I was punished for being disrespectful or "snappy" (for the first time) despite the fact that I was actually in a very submissive mood!!


So, I was thinking...

hmmm...

I wonder if this will work...

I am so frustrated...

It has been soooo long since my husband has taken me on a tropical vacation!








Be careful what you wish for!!!

Monday, 10 September 2012

Too Lenient or am I just that good?

I am lucky enough to have many friends out in blog land that I can share my joys and frustrations with regarding this lifestyle. It seems to me that there is a community of loving, accepting people out there that are always ready to listen when you need someone to listen, offer advice when you need advice or a prayer when you need a prayer. And when the time comes, I am happy to listen, give advice or send up a prayer to those friends who may also need it.

One of the privledges to being part of such a wonderful community, is hearing others stories. We all a little bit different from one another. What may be important to one HOH, may not be to another. Some HOH's are very strict and have very high expectations from their significant other, while others may be more lenient of certain behaviour. Some HOH's find themselves disciplining rather frequently (some times daily), while other rarely have to use discipline. Some HOH are extremely consistant, never faultering or appearing to second guess themselves. While others openly admit to struggling with consistency.

As odd as this sounds, my husband is both strict and lenient, consistent and inconsistent. Wierd, eh? (I through in the eh for my American friends out there!) Let me explain:

Both strict and lenient? How does that work?

I generally try to follow the 4 D's of domestic discipline (danger, disrespect, dishonesty, disobedience)

However, we have specific rules that I am expected to always follow that fall into the above catergories. Things such as going to bed by 12, carrying my cell phone with me at all times, keep the house neat and tidy, and so on.

These rules are black or white, yes or no. With these rules he is very strict, I either broke the rule or I didn't. And since there is no grey area or possible loopholes to get through, when the rule is broken, I can expect consequences.

However, for many items that still fall into the 4 D's that we do not have a specific rule for, I find him very lenient or inconsistent. There have been times were I catch myself talking to him very disrespectfully and stop to glance up at him to see how he is going to react. To date, I have never been disciplined for disrespect. This is where that variation between HOH's really come into play. Some HOH's would never tolerate some the things I say, while others would probably find me respectful (I'm not nasty and rude all the time!!!!) .

I love reading others blogs, and hearing everyones stories. I spend much of my spare times doing so. However, I often catch myself feeling somewhat jealous. Crazy, I know! But I just wish my husband could me a little more attentive in some of the other areas of DD, and not just to the specifics. I often go weeks without even getting a lecture. But then, I can't help but ask myself... is it because he is just too lenient or am I just that good???





Thursday, 23 August 2012

What Would You Do?

If given the chance to do one thing, without consequence or punishment, what would it be?

Would you lounge around the house for a week, staying in your PJ's refusing to do any housework?


Would you do something more daring?



There are 2 things that I would like to add to my bucket list, but the hubby has made it pretty clear neither will happen without some serious consequences!!!

First...

I would love to go to a psychic. Not because I believe they can really see into the future, but rather I think they are people who can read body language. I'd like to go wearing jogging pants and a T-shirt, no jewelry and no makeup. 


Both my mom and sister go, but I have never been. I guess I'm just curious... but my hubby is dead set against it. 

He pretty much told me I would be punished every day for a week if I went behind his back, plus remove all privileges.

(I should add that he has a family member that basically basis her life around psychic predictions, but its not like I'm about to do that!)

Second...
I would LOVE to ride on the back of a motorcycle.


Come on now, that just looks fun!

SO...
What would you do?

Sunday, 19 August 2012

The Case of the Housework Blues

Right now my house looks a little like this...




I should have this attitude...



But instead, I can't help the think...



or this...




(Big Sigh)

I guess I'll be doing this all afternoon...


But maybe I'll do a little more of this first...




On another note, my husband tried to brush off one if is chores on to me the other day. I have never cut the grass a day in my life, nor do I ever plan to. When I was young I asked my dad to teach me and he out right refused. I have never showed interest since that day.

As we driving around the other day my hubby pointed out a young lady cutting the grass...
him -"See, girls can cut the grass too."

me - "Ok dear, I will cut the grass this week and take out the garbage and you can do the laundry, cook and clean up after the meals and vacuum."

(he apparently didn't like the idea of trading chores for the week because he just flat out refused to respond)

him - "But I'm allergic to grass!"

me - "and I am allergic to laundry detergent!"

I guess that was that, cause when we got home he cut the grass and I did the laundry.




Friday, 17 August 2012

An unusual threat from my father

2 things you should know about me.
1. I was never disciplined as a child. Granted, I was pretty well behaved, but there certainly were times that I should have earned a punishment of some kind. I only ever remember being grounded once, and that only prevented me from playing with friends. I was still allowed to watch tv and play videogames. I never had to stand in the corner, I never had soap in my mouth, and I never was spanked.

2. Despite my young age, I'm not really into technology. Im not really one to upgrade things. I figure, if it still works the why waste my money. So that would be the reason why I had my last cell phone for the past 5 years.

Okay, so now my story.

I decided it was time for a new phone, everyone seems to have a smart phone, so why not, I deserve something nice every now and then. I even bought a fancy case filled with bling.

My parents are evn more behind on technology then me. They don't have cell phones, heck, they don't even own a computer! So they were pretty excited to get a brief tutorial of my new iPhone.

After showing them all the cool things my new phone can do, me dad proceeded to give me a lecture on texting and driving.

"You better not be texting while driving on that thing little miss."

"don't worry dad, I  would NEVER dream of doing that"

"I don't care how old you are, if I found out you were doing that I would put you over my knee!"

What?!?!    I think my jaw hit the floor! He has never even threatened to spank me before!

I wonder how he would react if i told him the hubby already has that one covered!

Monday, 13 August 2012

Attention seeking behaviors

It has been over a month since I have been spanked! And trust me I'm not complaining about that! I don't particularly enjoy being spanked, but I do appreciate the time we spend together after.

Sometimes our schedules can be a little crazy. He works nights, I work days.  Unfortunately, despite his many attempts he can't seem to fall asleep when he first gets home from work. Often times he is just starting to get into his deep rem sleep when I arrive home from work.

Some days this is quite enjoyable. I pack his lunch, throw a load of laundry in the wash, make myself something small for dinner, then curl up in front of the couch with a book, scroll the internet and watch tv, maybe take a nice hot bubble bath.

But... Some times I start to feel very lonely.

So this weekend, when he decided to fill up his free time with tennis and golf with his buddies I started to get a little bitter.

I wanted to stomp my feet

I wanted to hold my breath until my face turned red.

I wanted to slam doors.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

But...

Instead of doing all those things, I decided to talk to him.

It started when he was playing with the cat and told her she was beautiful.

I even was jealous of my cat!!!!!

"sure tell the cat she's beautiful but what about me"

"I tell you that your beautiful all the time"

"I don't remember the last time you told me I'm beautiful"

"where is all this coming from?"

(Deep sigh)

" i guess I just feel neglected, like I needed a little bit of attention. Part of me is tempted to do something bad just so that your forced to pay some attention to be" (I guess it's true what they say, attention is still attention whether it is positive or negative)

I think I saw his eyes pop right out of his head!

"no,no, no nothing BAD bad, just something to get your attention, like "forget" to replace the toilet paper when it's done, or "accidentally" forget to take my vitamins, or "forget" my phone at home when I leave for the day."

Well, I'm glad I decided to talk to him rather then act on my temptation because we spent a lazy afternoon curled up on the couch, wrapped up in each others arms watching movies rather then me faced down on the bed with a warm red bottom!

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Stormy's word game

I have an anxiety disorder and often struggle to fall asleep at night. So a few years ago i started playing a little game. I pick a theme and then go through the alphabet trying to match each letter with something that has to do with my theme. I tend to enjoy doing animals and vegetables, as they are the easiest.  So, there was no way I could turn down  stormy's challenge to come up with a list using ttwd!
So here goes!

Ass (as in your ass is grass!)
Brat
Cane
Discipline
Enough! (one word warning at this house)
Fighting
Grounded (what I was yesterday)
Hand
Icy hot (not something I want to experience)
Johnny lope?
Kisses
Love
Maintance (I stole this one from stormy)
NO "no tv and no internet" what? I'd rather the spanking please!
Oppositional
Privacy or paddle
Quiet time
Respect
Silent spanking
Ttwd
Understanding
Vitamins (my newest rule since i always forget to take them)
Wooden spoon
Xtra lines (stole again, guess I'm a thief
Yes sir
Zero tolerance!

Wow that was kind of tricky, I'll probably be up all night now trying to come up with better ones!

Monday, 6 August 2012

The best marriage advice I've received...

Aside from Stormies recent blog, "just do it" the best advice I've recieved came from a marriage course required by my church before we got married. We followed along The Marriage Book: How to Build A Lasting Relationship Written by Nicky and Sila Lee.

Chapter 5-  the 5 expressions of love really stood out to me, and I frequently go back to that chapter.

The idea is, essentially there are 5 ways to express our love

Loving words
Kind actions
Quality time
Thoughtful presents
Physical affection

The exersize included each of us ranking the about expressions of importance for both ourselves and what we think our partners would rank

So, for myself I ranked it as follows

Words
Actions
Time
Touch
Presents

The big surprise was despite how well I thought I new the man, and how well he knows me... Our ranking did not line up perfectly.

I feel the most love when he tells me that I'm beautiful, or how much we can't believe I'm his wife, but also through his actions. I feel loved when he steps up as an hoh, guides and protects me. I feel loved when he worries about me, and takes action to protect our marriage and my safety.

He feels love when I scratch his head when we are lying on the couch, when I pack him yummy lunches for work and.... Let's just say touch was a big one.

I think this is an important exersize for all couples.

Because it the little things in life right?

Sunday, 29 July 2012

I trip away had me showing shades of red

My hubby loves to spoil me! And I am not about to complain about that! Birthdays and holiday's have always been an excuse for him to go a little overboard. So this year my birthday was no exception. On the day of, she showered me with attention, dinner and beautiful earrings. He also told me not to make plans for this weekend. Of course I was going crazy not knowing what he had planned I was thrilled and excited.
We packed up our things on Friday night and set our alarms for an early morning. He shared one small detail about our trip, we were going to a baseball game 4 hours away and needed to leave early if we wanted to make it on time. The alarm went off,and we decided to snooze it another 10 minutes, however instead of hitting snooze I turned it off, which ended up in us sleeping in another hour. After rushing to get ready I dropped him off at the car rental place, ours is getting old and not up to the long commute, and waited for him to pick me up at the house. I thought I would splash on some makeup, which I hardly ever wear and make myself pretty for him. When I heard the car, I ran out not wanting to make him wait. I immediately realized that I just locked to the door with the house keys still inside. We were already running late and didn't have time to figure it out, so we left it to deal with when we got home. We were off to a rough start and my mood, and stress levels were just as rough. I wasn't rude or disrespectful, just really quiet, which isnt like me all at. After a few hours in the car, a large coffee and a good radio station I was starting to feel a little better. When we got to our destination we checked into our hotel. It was amazing. I have stayed in nice hotels before but nothing like this. We had to leave right away to get the game that we were already late for. Luckily the score was 0/0 when we got there and we didn't miss much. In the end my team won earning me some bragging rights. After the game we went out for dinner and drinks at an amazing restraunt and had some time before my next surprise, so we went back to the hotel to get ready and relax. An hour later we were rushing out to our next event, Michael Jackson's circ de soleil! It was the best thing I have ever scene. You would think that would be enough but we left the hotel this morning to go to a golf tournament held a few hours away. Granted this was more for him then me, it was still a nice few hours spent with him.
It's nice to be back home, and yes inside despite locking us out. I had an amazing weekend and now need to start planning for his birthday...
Oh and if you're wondering about the shades of red comment, it's all his fault! He didn't tell me to pack for a full day outside, how was I to know I needed to pack sunscreen! I look like an apple (his words). I hope you had a good weekend too.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

About me

I went 45 days without getting in trouble! It should have been longer, but I broke a rule yesterday. The worst part is, I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew when I stayed up til 430 in the morning to finish my book I was going to be in trouble, but I did it anyway. I'm not even going to complain that I got into trouble, cause I knew what I was doing when I did it. As I read from anothers blog, it feels so good until it feels so bad.

Red Booty Woman just posted 7 fun,facts about herself so at the risk of being unoriginal, im going to copy her, only I'm gonna do 5

1. I have 31 first cousins all of which I'm fairly close to.

2. I hate bugs! Not just hate them but I think it's safe to say I have phobia. Especially spiders, it's quite a productions when I have a spider on me including screaming, jumping up and down and crying.

3. I am a huge daddy's girl. I still look at my dad like he hung the moon.

4. I'm a crazy cat lady. I have 3 cats and talk about them like there my kids. However, I believe I am safe from the crazy cat lady title cause I'm married.

5. Hmmm, one more, this is kind of hard... I have 2 tatoos, one that I got under age

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

and then there was 2.... and 3

So here is a little tid bit of information about me... I LOVE to read!
I love to get lost in a book, swept away to another country, life, or  time. When I read a novel I become the protagonist. I read just about anything and everything. I will become Winston Smith in George Orwell's prophecy of the future, 1984.  Or Aminata Diallo as I am being abducted from my small village in Africa and forced to migrate to America where I will be sold as a slave only to dream of the day that I will once again be free, in Lawrence Hill's Book of Negroes. Or even Anastasia Steele being tied up and spank by my dominant partner for the first time in 50 Shades of Grey. 
I love reading and could read at any time, any place, and for long periods of time.


What's the problem with that??


I get so involved in the book that I am reading that I become obsessed, unable to put my book down until I have finished it. So often I will read a book from start to finished in one day. Even if that means staying up until 4am on a work night... which brings my to rule number 2.


I have a bedtime :(


I have heard other people talk about having a bedtime as a rule but still a little surprised that it is now on my list. 


Although we both discussed that rule #3 should go with out being said... I am not to lie, EVER. Since the hubby works nights he is relying on my honesty to report if I have broken my bedtime rule. And he has ensured me if I break that rule and lie about it, I will be sorry.


Ask and you will receive... to think I just complained about the lack of rules last week and now my list has tripled!!

Monday, 2 July 2012

A little fun



I thought this was cute. My 4 words are:  dramatic, witty, reserved, and naive!

And I hate to admit it but I have been called a few of them once or twice in my life!

Monday, 25 June 2012

Frustration

I am thrilled that my hubby actually agreed to give this lifestyle a shot. I am impressed that he made a rule, (I am not to leave the house without my cell phone, my car is too old and unreliable). And mad props go out to him for being consistent at enforcing the rule!

So what am I complaining about?

It is my only rule.

And even though it took two times, I learned my lesson. Unless I start to brat and intentionally leave my phone at home when I leave for work, I may never get spanked again! Which would be great if that meant my house was spotless and I had nothing but respect and obedience towards my husband, but unfortunately that is not always the case.

I suggested punishment when I need an 'attitude adjustment', he replied that sometimes he is snappy towards me and would feel bad punishing me for this.

I suggested punishment when the house starts to get messy. However my tolerance of a messy house and his tolerance are very different and I can't see it getting to the point that he needs to intervene. 

Anyone else deal with something like this? Did you or your HOH struggle with adding new rules?

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

My question for you... DD and dieting?

Dear Carbs,



Our relationship is over. You will be truly missed, and I will think about you daily... probably hourly. But you have come between me and my bikini for the last time! I love you dearly, your delicious breads and pastas and desserts, but it's just not working between us... particularly my a$$. Lets make this as easy as possible, just go, don't show up in my kitchen, stay away from my T.V. and just go.



It's not you, its me. This is going to be harder for me then you.
Good Bye Carbs.


So here is my question...
Have any of you used DD to encourage diet and exercise? Do you think that using it for such a thing is appropriate and did it work for you? We are so new to this, and really only talked about making the rules about promoting communication and ensuring safety. I'd love to hear what you are doing and what works or does not work for you.

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

I should be studying...

Despite the fact that I graduated from University 3 years ago... I have a test tomorrow. And rather than studying, I look more like this




Just swap the beer with a glass of wine and you've got me!
So I vow to take this advice



But since the test is tomorrow, that's probably not the best advice.

I'm not going to ask or even suggest it but I can think of one thing that might get me motivated...



Maybe I'll suggest that if I ever have another test!

Sunday, 27 May 2012

Boy is my butt red!

After 6 months of asking/ convincing / begging M to try DD, I was very sceptical when he reluctantly agreed. I thought for sure that he was just agreeing to get me to shut up. However, I'm surprised how seriously he is taking this. I was also very surprised when he upgraded from his hand to the spoon.

And not just the regular spoon...



But one of this big thick Bamboo ones...




Ouch, boy is my butt red! Why exactly did I insist on this again???

But the making up afterwards was amazing... oh ya, that's why I wanted this. He held me, and hugged me, and told me how much he loved me. It was great and very unexpected.

I will think twice next time I leave the house with the gas light on and no cell phone!!

Friday, 25 May 2012

Hmm, I think I can get into this DD thing!

Today, the hubby and I spent an amazing, rare day together. He works midnights and I work days, which really limits the time we get to spend together during the week. However, I had the day off and M stayed awake all day so that we could get some errands done, and grab a late lunch. To top of a great day we stopped off at the driving range (it doesn't look like I will be going pro any time soon!!) On the way home we started talking about my recent landscaping challenge I have committed myself too. The previous owner of our home believed rocks and shrubs were the answer to everything. The shrub were never maintained and are overgrown. Last summer I started with a smaller garden in the back, which took me most of the summer to dig up the rocks... but I am very proud of the final product. This summer is the front. My dad came over yesterday to help M dig out the bushes. There were 3 in total, and I'm pretty sure each was the size of a small elephant. Now I am ready to dig up the rocks, break up the soil and plant something beautiful. I have been looking into different plants and designed what i want it to look like. When I start a project, I can be a little obsessive, not wanting to do anything else until my project is complete. M knows this about me, so this is what our conversation sounded like in the car.

M- "You are not to work in the garden today, it is too hot out now and I don't want you to get sick"
Me - "I just want to dig up the rocks while you are sleeping"
M - "No, it is too hot. You are not to work in the garden. We can work on it together in the morning. I think you should go shopping. Take $200 and go to the mall."
Me- "Fine, if you insist!"

Yard Work.....Shopping....

Really, its not to hard to be submissive and obey when you give me choices like that!!

Friday, 18 May 2012

My First Real Spanking

So as promised M gave me the first real spanking today.

Was for sassing back?
Noooo

Was if for keeping an untidy house?
Nooooooo

Was if for rolling my eye?
Nooooooooooo

Did I break one of the holy trinity? Disrespect, Disobedience, Dishonesty???
Nooooooooooooooooo

I forgot to replace the hand towel in the bathroom after removing the old one!!!!!! This drives him crazy and he has told me (once or maybe twice) not to forget again. I guess he meant it!!!!

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Everybody Loves Ray

I was watching a rerun of Everyone Loves Ray as all the couples were talking about all the secret deceptive things they do to their partner when they are upset.



This conversation all started when Robert caught Pat smoking. Later, as the secret was revealed to the family Hank, with his very authoritative HOH voice demands to know how long this has been going on. Pat with her submissive/passive voice answers him "23 years." He begins the lecture (you know the lecture!) and demands to know why. Her reply... "To deal with you. If I didn't have my cigarettes, I think I would have to fight you." 


After the lecture continues for a few minutes everyone announces the different things the do to cope with each other.



Ray drives around the block a few times listening to music to prepare himself for Debra
Debra eats chocolate
Amy turns Robert toothbrush to the east, when he specifically puts it to the west
Pat (Amy's mom) smokes cigarettes
Hank (Amy's dad) blows things up

Marie announces...

 "I cant believe you all have to engage in this sort of behaviour just to deal with your partner, it's not healthy." 

Frank agrees and states... something along the lines of this... Ya when I cant stand Marie I tell her to shut my and make me a sandwich.

The family starts to discuss the dysfunctional relationship between Marie and Frank.

Marie's response:

"Do I smoke? Do I blow things up?"

Just goes to show how important communication is... 

and I couldn't help but wonder...

what would this show look like if the husbands spanked their wives?????

It probably would have been a 5 minute clip, rather than an 30... Starring Peter Paddle and Spencer Spoon. 

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

I Need to Need You

"I need to need you. If you were to leave tomorrow, I want my world to crash before me." 

This was the start of a very long conversation M and I had earlier today. We are still in our first year of marriage and trying to find our way and establish our roles. I am struggling with letting him lead and he is struggling with leading.

I was raised in a fairly strict home. My parents loved and supported me, but had very high expectations. I was a good student, worked hard and got good grades. I started my first real job at 14 and paid my way through many years of university. If there was something that I wanted, I earned it.  As a result of this upbringing, I am very independent. 

My husbands childhood was very different. He was raised by a single mother who loved and adored him. She happily did everything for him and expected nothing from him. If he didn't want to go to school, that was okay. If he failed a class, that was okay. If he didn't want to work, that was okay. He wasn't really taught responsibility. And since his father was only a part of his life on alternating weekends, he never really saw the "male" role in a home.

He is however, the most caring, loving, affectionate, sweetest man I have ever met. Which is why I fell in love with him. When he asked me to marry him, I was thrilled and excited to start this new journey. We bought a house and moved in together. I immediately started paying the bills, doing the housework, planning renovations, doing the renovations. I would tell him when something needed to be done, such as cut the grass or take out the garbage, and some times it would happen. Other times I would wait until the last possible minute and do it myself. We quickly got 'comfortable' with this routine. 

I essentially became the HOH. Which is not something I have ever wanted. I was confused and frustrated, and often angry with the love of my life. I started researching gender roles and some how during my research I stumbled across Clin'ts blog: Learning Domestic Discipline. I new immediately that this was something that I wanted. I asked and explained and discussed and emailed my hubby regularly for a long period of time. And I was just about to give up, until one night when we lying in bed talking I asked him if you would ever be willing to try it. He responded "I am, I just need to find my way and figure this out."  I was thrilled! 

However, while visiting with a friend today I realized that despite the numinous conversations I have had with him regarding Domestic Discipline I never really explained to him what I was hoping to accomplish with this lifestyle. "I need to need you" and so our talk started. "If you were to leave tomorrow,  I would miss you dearly. But... not much would change." I need to need you. I need to depend on you. I need to need you like I need the heart in my chest. Today I am giving you the gift of me... all of me. Please take it... guide me, love me, lead me. 

I know that I am asking a lot, but I know you can do it.