I should be studying...

Despite the fact that I graduated from University 3 years ago... I have a test tomorrow. And rather than studying, I look more like this




Just swap the beer with a glass of wine and you've got me!
So I vow to take this advice



But since the test is tomorrow, that's probably not the best advice.

I'm not going to ask or even suggest it but I can think of one thing that might get me motivated...



Maybe I'll suggest that if I ever have another test!

Boy is my butt red!

After 6 months of asking/ convincing / begging M to try DD, I was very sceptical when he reluctantly agreed. I thought for sure that he was just agreeing to get me to shut up. However, I'm surprised how seriously he is taking this. I was also very surprised when he upgraded from his hand to the spoon.

And not just the regular spoon...



But one of this big thick Bamboo ones...




Ouch, boy is my butt red! Why exactly did I insist on this again???

But the making up afterwards was amazing... oh ya, that's why I wanted this. He held me, and hugged me, and told me how much he loved me. It was great and very unexpected.

I will think twice next time I leave the house with the gas light on and no cell phone!!

Hmm, I think I can get into this DD thing!

Today, the hubby and I spent an amazing, rare day together. He works midnights and I work days, which really limits the time we get to spend together during the week. However, I had the day off and M stayed awake all day so that we could get some errands done, and grab a late lunch. To top of a great day we stopped off at the driving range (it doesn't look like I will be going pro any time soon!!) On the way home we started talking about my recent landscaping challenge I have committed myself too. The previous owner of our home believed rocks and shrubs were the answer to everything. The shrub were never maintained and are overgrown. Last summer I started with a smaller garden in the back, which took me most of the summer to dig up the rocks... but I am very proud of the final product. This summer is the front. My dad came over yesterday to help M dig out the bushes. There were 3 in total, and I'm pretty sure each was the size of a small elephant. Now I am ready to dig up the rocks, break up the soil and plant something beautiful. I have been looking into different plants and designed what i want it to look like. When I start a project, I can be a little obsessive, not wanting to do anything else until my project is complete. M knows this about me, so this is what our conversation sounded like in the car.

M- "You are not to work in the garden today, it is too hot out now and I don't want you to get sick"

Me - "I just want to dig up the rocks while you are sleeping"

M - "No, it is too hot. You are not to work in the garden. We can work on it together in the morning. I think you should go shopping. Take $200 and go to the mall."

Me- "Fine, if you insist!"

Yard Work.....Shopping....

Really, its not to hard to be submissive and obey when you give me choices like that!!

My First Real Spanking

So as promised M gave me the first real spanking today.

Was for sassing back?
Noooo

Was if for keeping an untidy house?
Nooooooo

Was if for rolling my eye?
Nooooooooooo

Did I break one of the holy trinity? Disrespect, Disobedience, Dishonesty???
Nooooooooooooooooo

I forgot to replace the hand towel in the bathroom after removing the old one!!!!!! This drives him crazy and he has told me (once or maybe twice) not to forget again. I guess he meant it!!!!

Everybody Loves Ray

I was watching a rerun of Everyone Loves Ray as all the couples were talking about all the secret deceptive things they do to their partner when they are upset.

This conversation all started when Robert caught Pat smoking. Later, as the secret was revealed to the family Hank, with his very authoritative HOH voice demands to know how long this has been going on. Pat with her submissive/passive voice answers him "23 years." He begins the lecture (you know the lecture!) and demands to know why. Her reply... "To deal with you. If I didn't have my cigarettes, I think I would have to fight you." 

After the lecture continues for a few minutes everyone announces the different things the do to cope with each other.

Ray drives around the block a few times listening to music to prepare himself for Debra

Debra eats chocolate

Amy turns Robert toothbrush to the east, when he specifically puts it to the west

Pat (Amy's mom) smokes cigarettes

Hank (Amy's dad) blows things up

Marie announces...

 "I cant believe you all have to engage in this sort of behaviour just to deal with your partner, it's not healthy." 

Frank agrees and states... something along the lines of this... Ya when I cant stand Marie I tell her to shut my and make me a sandwich.

The family starts to discuss the dysfunctional relationship between Marie and Frank.

Marie's response:

"Do I smoke? Do I blow things up?"

Just goes to show how important communication is... 

and I couldn't help but wonder...

what would this show look like if the husbands spanked their wives?????

It probably would have been a 5 minute clip, rather than an 30... Starring Peter Paddle and Spencer Spoon. 

I Need to Need You

"I need to need you. If you were to leave tomorrow, I want my world to crash before me." 

This was the start of a very long conversation M and I had earlier today. We are still in our first year of marriage and trying to find our way and establish our roles. I am struggling with letting him lead and he is struggling with leading.

I was raised in a fairly strict home. My parents loved and supported me, but had very high expectations. I was a good student, worked hard and got good grades. I started my first real job at 14 and paid my way through many years of university. If there was something that I wanted, I earned it.  As a result of this upbringing, I am very independent. 

My husbands childhood was very different. He was raised by a single mother who loved and adored him. She happily did everything for him and expected nothing from him. If he didn't want to go to school, that was okay. If he failed a class, that was okay. If he didn't want to work, that was okay. He wasn't really taught responsibility. And since his father was only a part of his life on alternating weekends, he never really saw the "male" role in a home.

He is however, the most caring, loving, affectionate, sweetest man I have ever met. Which is why I fell in love with him. When he asked me to marry him, I was thrilled and excited to start this new journey. We bought a house and moved in together. I immediately started paying the bills, doing the housework, planning renovations, doing the renovations. I would tell him when something needed to be done, such as cut the grass or take out the garbage, and some times it would happen. Other times I would wait until the last possible minute and do it myself. We quickly got 'comfortable' with this routine. 

I essentially became the HOH. Which is not something I have ever wanted. I was confused and frustrated, and often angry with the love of my life. I started researching gender roles and some how during my research I stumbled across Clin'ts blog: Learning Domestic Discipline. I new immediately that this was something that I wanted. I asked and explained and discussed and emailed my hubby regularly for a long period of time. And I was just about to give up, until one night when we lying in bed talking I asked him if you would ever be willing to try it. He responded "I am, I just need to find my way and figure this out."  I was thrilled! 

However, while visiting with a friend today I realized that despite the numinous conversations I have had with him regarding Domestic Discipline I never really explained to him what I was hoping to accomplish with this lifestyle. "I need to need you" and so our talk started. "If you were to leave tomorrow,  I would miss you dearly. But... not much would change." I need to need you. I need to depend on you. I need to need you like I need the heart in my chest. Today I am giving you the gift of me... all of me. Please take it... guide me, love me, lead me. 

I know that I am asking a lot, but I know you can do it.