Tuesday, 5 June 2012

My question for you... DD and dieting?

Dear Carbs,

Our relationship is over. You will be truly missed, and I will think about you daily... probably hourly. But you have come between me and my bikini for the last time! I love you dearly, your delicious breads and pastas and desserts, but it's just not working between us... particularly my a$$. Lets make this as easy as possible, just go, don't show up in my kitchen, stay away from my T.V. and just go.

It's not you, its me. This is going to be harder for me then you.
Good Bye Carbs.

So here is my question...
Have any of you used DD to encourage diet and exercise? Do you think that using it for such a thing is appropriate and did it work for you? We are so new to this, and really only talked about making the rules about promoting communication and ensuring safety. I'd love to hear what you are doing and what works or does not work for you.


  1. Looks yummy. I'm hungry.


    Yes, we have. We tried it for actual weight loss and it backfired terribly. It was at the very beginning of this journey and it too quickly played into my sense of self worth. We were just too new at Dd.

    We still use it to help me remember to stop working and exercise. I enjoy doing it, but I get wrapped up in my work and skip it. My husband holds me accountable--pretty loosely but it's there and helps me remember. For us it's just about staying healthy and I am slowly losing weight but without any pressure.

  2. We have used it slightly for my dieting and exercising but it is hard when he works away from home so much and has to be away for long periods of time. The old saying what they don't know won't hurt me often plays out more with my eating than I would like it to. If he is home a lot then I say try it, if it doesn't work, it doesn't but it could be just the thing you need to keep you going until it becomes habit on your own. Good luck.

  3. I know one couple who made diet and exercise a part of their rules due to her health. They worked with her doctor to outline a proper diet and exercise program. They measured her success by how well she stuck to the plan - exercising and following the diet plan. They did not measure her success by how many pounds she did/did not lose because we have all had weeks where no matter what we did, the scale remained the same. :( It really helped her get into the habit of really thinking about what she was eating and what she could do to exercise more. The punishments for failing to stick with the plan were more on the order of attitude adjustments rather than punishments. Hope this helps.

  4. I'm quite obsessive about my weight and health on my own. Plus I have conditions that require specific food intake requirements. So this is one area where BIKSS doesn't interfere at all. He knows I'm probably better at regulating my own food intake than he ever will be. Good luck.

    (On an aside, be sure you don't cut out carbs altogether. Eat healthy. A no carb diet may mess up your insulin regulation levels. I've fainted from low glucose levels many times. My dietician tells me to eat 6 meals a day, spread out the intake, but eat tiny portions. that's helping me to lose weight without cutting out the nutrients.)

  5. My 'Rule #1' is an exercise rule. It was the rule that we used to get ttwd rolling in our relationship. With his motivation, I have been able to stick to an exercise plan for the first time ever and it's helped me immensely. I like working out and the desire was always there, but I was just never able to make it happen consistently on my own. But...diet is a dirty word in our house;)

  6. I recently found on a blog that a woman gets punishment spankings if she does not lose 'x' amount of weight each week. Mind you, I am at a very low point self esteem wise and my weight has been up and down directly related to my confidence so this felt like a slap in the face.

    I immediately told MDK in horror that if he ever tried to tell me that I needed to lose 3 lbs a week or be spanked....he nodded as if he had thought about it before and told me that this wasn't an option at that moment and not to worry.

    The part that opened my eyes was that he said explained it that the woman is not being punished because she did not lose weight that week its because she did not do enough to ensure a loss. For example not enough exercise or high salt foods that lead to bloating. It still made me mad to think about this but I guess it depends on the way its done.

    For me personally we are still way too new into ttwd and building me back up to focus on this portion. I am deeply intrigued by it as a tool even though I initially balked. Will look forward to other replies.


  7. Becky,

    I have struggled with my weight my whole life. Finally about 6 months into the stricter side of TTWD, my man said, "Would you like me to help you with this?" and I said.. YES. We sat down with a diabetic diet food plan and exercise plan. I am not spanked for weight loss or gain. I am spanked for breaking my diet consistently.

    This has enabled me to develop the habit of working out 5-6 days a week, and I have lost 45 pounds and 4 sizes. He loved me and thought I was amazingly sexy before and does so now. It's not about that for him, it's about me. Me being happy and healthy with me. I have 35 left that I want to lose and he supports me every turn. Have I been spanked for missing the mark of my diet, yeah, three times now, and the last was well.. the worst and I don't wanna do that again...

    1. Wow. That really made me smile. It sounds like you and yours were able to come up with something that worked for you and were able to stick with. That's awesome! I also like that it wasn't a lose/gain consequence but following through. Thanks for sharing! :D

  8. Thank you for all your wonderful comments. Just as an update, I decided not to go to him to implement this as a rule just yet. I think we are too new and already struggling with getting started, but once we have established some consistency and routine I just might take Dana's advice. Maybe a spanking will motivate me to get my butt to the gym!!

  9. Hi Becs
    From the beginning, lo those 3 months ago.....my staying on my diet/exercise regime was one of the "rules". However after the first week or two I realized that Tom was pretty lax on the exercise rule and basically disregarded anytime I messed up on the "eating something I shouldnt" rule. We regrouped at the end of last month and it turns out he had forgotten the diet was on the list of rules........... So after we get past the flu this week are back to it, I hope. I think I'll need the added incentive to get me going ............I just hope he can just get past feeling like a "#$$*$#" for enforcing it!